Can’t think of anyone who fell harder and more disgracefully than former 1980s action hero Steven Seagal. He currently weighs 500 pounds and was spotted in late October 2024 visiting Kursk Oblast, Russia. You can see Putin’s most hefty propaganda asset in the picture below, testing the sturdiness of Russian furniture with his rhinoceros’ sized behind.

Before he fled America in disgrace, running away from charges of sexual misconduct, Seagal was a major action hero in the late 1980s and early 1990s. He was a fit, handsome 6′5″ aikido master who opened his own dojo in Japan as a twenty-year-old who didn’t speak a lick of Japanese — he was honestly, and it pains me to admit this, but he was honestly a pretty impressive dude?

Steven Seagal dated and married various models and actresses, fathered seven children, worked as a bodyguard to stars and a martial art advisor to others — he once famously broke Sean Connery’s wrist while working on a Bond film as a young man. Seagal was, for at least a decade or so, “The Man” in Hollywood. He’s become a sad laughing stock in the last twenty years or so but before that, he was kind of a big deal and people often forget that…

He wasn’t a good dude, of course. In fact many sources close to Seagal growing up have mentioned his ties to organized crime. The Russian mafia, to be more precise. His imposing frame and mob ties served Seagal well, as it clearly wasn’t his non-existent acting skills that got him famous. Now he’s the size of a small horse and serving as a propaganda asset for the Russians. He can never set foot in America for fear of a major jail sentence for rape.